"Night falls. Or has fallen. Why is it that night falls, instead of rising, like dawn? Yet if you look east, at sunset, you can see night rising, not falling; darkness lifting into the sky, up from the horizon, like a black sun behind cloud cover. Like smoke from an unseen fire, a line of fire just below the horizon, brushfire or a burning city. Maybe night falls because it’s heavy, a thick curtain pulled up over the eyes. Wool blanket. I wish I could see in the dark, better than I do.”
Last week, I accepted a position as a Registered Nurse on a spinal cord injury unit.
I’ve spent the last two years figuring out what I want from a career, and life. Graduating college, moving home, and job-searching has been the most stressful process. I worked really hard for this job, and I feel incredibly thankful to have gotten it; it still feels a little surreal that it’s actually happening.
I’ve been at a job since last January that I absolutely LOVE. Working with kids is my passion, and at some point in my career, I will work with kids again. It’s bittersweet to be leaving; I work with amazing, talented people that I’ve gotten extremely close with, and I’ve gotten to know and love the BEST group of kids. Plus, this job has been such an outlet and a comfort for me during some of the most stressful and upsetting things that have happened over the past year and a half, and letting go of this job is going to be very emotional. Even though I’m leaving for an amazing opportunity, I don’t think I can walk away without literally leaving behind a huge, important chunk of my life and my heart behind. It’s the definition of bittersweet.
This is probably the scariest thing I’ve ever done. But I’m excited that it’s finally happening. And I’m ready.
"This is my heart. You are touching it with your left hand, not because you are left-handed, although you might be, but because I am holding it against my heart. What you are feeling is the beating of my heart. It is what keeps me alive."
- from Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer
"Some people think love is the end of the road, and if you’re lucky enough to find it, you stay there. Other people say it just becomes a cliff you drive off, but most people who’ve been around awhile know it’s just a thing that changes day by day, and depending on how much you fight for it, you get it, or you hold on to it, or you lose it, but sometimes it’s never even there in the first place."
Brand New played a special after party show at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ last night following Bamboozle. Check out their performance of “Sowing Season” for the night below by clicking “Read More.”
"Everything he had ever done that had been better left undone. Every lie he had told - told to himself, or told to others. Every little hurt, and all the great hurts. Each one was pulled out of him, detail by detail, inch by inch. The demon stripped away the cover of forgetfulness, stripped everything down to truth, and it hurt more than anything. […] The demon took apart his life, moment by moment, instant to awful instant. It lasted a hundred years, perhaps, or a thousand - they had the time there ever was in that gray room - and towards the end he realized that the demon had been right. The physical torture had been kinder. […] It was like peeling an onion. This time through his life, he learned about consequences. He learned the results of things he had done; things he had been blind to as he did them; the ways he had hurt the world; the damage he had done to people he had never known, or met, or encountered. It was the hardest lesson yet.”
I was swimming through the waves for what must have been days, but could find no relief When I started sinking down I thought for certain I would drown Until I saw you in the ocean Underneath all of the bright colored fish tell of a treasure in a dull shell Such subtley, so easily missed You, my hidden pearl of pure and perfect Love And I’m the living example of 100% the opposite of that.